Dear Diary

It's just you and me for the next few days while everybody's away again. As usual I had to lend a paw with the packing otherwise they would have taken far too much stuff. I tried to explain that other places have shops but it fell on deaf ears. Then a brilliant idea came to me. I could hide in the suitcase and jump out when we got there. I could see the news headlines," 'arve, le brave. Le baggage binkying bunny," but as I knew they were going to France I changed my mind. Frogs and snails should be in the garden, not on plates thank you very much. A bit of crusty baguette can be tasty but it's not worth the journey.
There's a new hidey-hole in the kitchen. A sort of tent with cushions inside has been fixed up and there is a stool to climb on so I can reach the window seat. The tent is OK, quite cosy, but I would rather be under my big table to see what's going on. And what if Pauline the Postie can't find me when it's crunchy time? I like to be beside my bowls when I hear the back door rattle, it saves her such a lot of time.
The Canadians have gone away with them. I pee'd in their bedroom just to show them it's really mine and they shouldn't be there so I was under a bit of a cloud when they left. Time for a zizz before Simon or my Joanne comes to check me and say goodnight.

One carrot, two carrots, two and a half carrots ........

A Winter's Tale

Not so long ago, one bitterly cold evening in Niagara-on-the-Lake, when the snow was deep and the skies were dark and heavy, a gentle family cat brought a healthy baby bunny to the warmth and heart of his family. He placed it carefully at Alison's feet and went about his business. The family was thrilled at the cleverness of the feline and praised its sweetness and concern for the half frozen rabbit kitten. They made up a cosy basket, gave it cereal and water and left it to recover overnight near the fire on a lovely white fluffy rug safe from the cruel Canadian weather.

The next morning the lovely white fluffy rug was a red fluffy rug. The gentle family pet had returned for a snack in the early hours.

All rabbits should tell this story to their children and grandchildren and especially to the humans they live with.

The photographs are of me and my friend Celia's cat George who has a blog like mine on http://george-online.blogspot.com I dislike being picked up usually but I have to tolerate it for the sake of my public. And for the vet. And at poop-check time. It's a hard life when you're a celebrity like me and have to face the paparazzi so often. Anyway just take a minute to look at George and me and see how alike we are, both black, both small mammals, both kept as pets by humans. Yet if George caught me he would eat me starting from my lovely face so that my fur would lie the right way and wouldn't interfere with his pleasure. Good night and sweet dreams. I think I'll sleep upstairs under the bed tonight.

I think Harve's winking at us.

Photograph of gazebo in Niagara-on-the Lake by Bruce Jackson

What is a happy bunny?

A happy bunny is one
Who runs to you with a kiss each morning,
Who dashes about the house ecstatically leaping through the air as he runs,
Who pushes his face into your hand and leaves it there to show how much he loves you,
Who sings as he hops along when he hears the word "carrot" or " dinner",
Who makes a game of running out through one door and in through another, over and over again until he is tired,
Who nudges your feet to let you know he wants attention
Who confidently throws himself sideways in an attempt to roll over but never quite manages it,
Who introduces himself to visitors then shows them to the door as they leave,
Who makes a nightly sofa circuit to tell you he is going to bed,
Who has the self assurance to keep a bouncy kitten cornered and well away from his personal space,
Who stretches out at your feet every evening just to be close.
Hey, who's been writing in my diary and where's

my picture?

Will this do?

Harve in helpful mood.

Home alone.

I was left on my own overnight while my lot popped off for a couple of days. I never get bored on my own. With my house to supervise boredom isn't on my agenda. They are very lucky they can leave me here to look after the house when they go away. Anything could happen to the place if I weren't on the spot. One of my best friends is Pauline-the-Postie. She comes in to sort things for me when she has finished her village round. She gives me my crunchies, changes my litter, tops up my water and hay bowl and generally checks me over. We have a chat and a cuddle although usually I am much more interested in my food. Then my Joanne, or Simon, comes after work to say goodnight and give me my evening carrot. If they have time we watch a bit of television then they text my lot to give them an update. I appreciate a day or two when I don't have so many interruptions or somebody saying "What are you up to Harve?", "Come out of there Harve", "You're very quiet under there, Harve", as if I'd get up to anything troublesome. What a nightmare it must be to be imprisoned in a hutch, however large, perhaps with one visit a day from human family. What do those rabbits do all the time if the only light they see is through a piece of chicken wire. What have we done through the centuries to deserve this? All we ask is love, loyalty and a bit of freedom. It costs nothing.

Hopefully Harve has forgotten we took him to rabbit kennels for a week to try it out. Our careful instructions were not followed, perhaps they thought they knew better and when we returned he had stopped eating. We took him straight to our brilliant vet who kept him in for a few days and hand fed him with a complete food mixture to get his system going again. It took a week with covering antibiotics to get him back to his old self. I sat up at night with him to make sure he knew I was there. Never again.

Birthday boy

I'm six today! This is the present list I made and left by my basket last night.

1. One whole banana just for me, all at once.

2. One whole, large carrot just for me, all at once.

3. One piece of carrot cake with extra large juicy raisins.

4. One packet of cornflakes.

5. One ripe pear.

6. One ripe peach, peeled.

7. One bouquet garni of mint, parsley, dandelion leaves and rocket.

8. One whole day when I don't hear the word "NO".

No need to wrap.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

Ok, where's the carrot cake?

Happy Birthday from all of us, Harve.

People say the oddest things.

We had visitors today. As a very social animal I like to keep up to date with group activities as nature intended me to so I dashed smartly under the table beside all the feet to be in the best position to catch up with gossip. People think I sleep a lot of the time under there but I don't miss much. I learn a lot listening to chatter while I pretend to doze. Such a great way to collect notes for my diary. I realised very early on humans don't give much thought before they open their mouths. This afternoon for instance one of them looked down at me, laughed and asked "Which end is which?" I mean although I am black all over apart from the grey tips on my front toes, people who can't tell a head from a tail shouldn't be allowed out alone. Then with no consideration for my finer feelings she peered again and said "I see he likes blackberries." My PCG was quick off the mark as she spotted my caecotroph. "Not well enough," she replied drily. In my opinion verbalising is rarely a good move.

My Primary Care Giver frequently explains to friends who question her about life with me that my behaviour is very kittenish. She must mean my play behaviour because I am nothing like the dotty. Also, when I do my speed running round the house with my long ears flapping debonairly she says I'm like a huge black bumble bee trying to take off. You see what I mean, no consideration.

By the way, Smudge, a binkie is much like a high kitten leap but we rabbits do whirly twists while we are airborn. We can either execute a complete turn in the air or land facing in a totally different direction. Air aerobics are wildly uplifting. Try it. You may have to take off from a height if you are a sedate cat.


I'll have to think more carefully before I say anything.

Ways and means.

I've been working on a couple of new ways of getting behind the television if there are no cushions stuffed in each side. Although, with a bit of scrabbling, I can easily pull them out then clamber over if my primary care people are dozing, which they do a lot these days. You have to keep planning if you're a house rabbit, after all in the wild I'd be designing new burrows all the time. Anyway, if they're wide awake, this is what I've tried and it works pretty well. First of all I dash round the room flipping the occasional binkie to entertain them, then, without pausing for a second .... you have to be quick here .... I dive, mid-flight, behind the set before they've realised what's happened. This brings loud applause, well, hand clapping, shouts of Har-vey, Har-vey, and other screams of delight. They love it.
Then there's the gangster method. I mooch nonchalantly backwards and forwards in front of the screen, looking casually in other directions as if I'm casing the joint then suddenly twist and jump with expert precision down the side! They never expect it. I love a good chuckle. People don't realise what a sense of humour we have unless they keep rabbits themselves. I planned all this to get my own back on my pcg who started hiding behind the sofa and jumping out at playtime. She surprised me a couple of times, I have to admit but the third time I was ready and crept along close behind her. She didn't know where I was so she was the one who got the surprise.

We often play together on the floor.

I'm getting too old for all this.