Censored!

I am now Harve-the-Googleable! What fame. What world-wide appreciation and what superb literary taste somebody has. My first diary entry was in April 2007 so it has taken me over two and a half years to reach this pinnacle of success.

My family says the thing responsible for this new-found prominence is a spider! It creeps about inside my computer checking for unwholesome stuff and it found me because it thought I was something to do with human bunny girls. Of course I used to be a furry person of great sexual standing until they took me to the vet but we won't go into that.

I bet you it was an American spider. Not the sharpest tool in the shed I would guess. Anyway fame by association will have to do for now until somebody decides to publish me. I wonder if Ms Rowling has found me yet? I wonder if there are such things as rabbit bunnygirls?

Is that a sprout leaf in my dish? Yuk.

Autumn Hazards

Apples are dangerous at this time of year.They fall from the sky, you know. It can be a bit dodgy if I happen to be hopping along in the garden minding my own business looking for dandelion leaves or squashed plums. Don't they know I'm a ground animal and never potter about with my head in the air expecting apples to drop in unannounced? Why should I? They should have more consideration for folk like me. It's much safer in the house in Autumn. I can climb onto the back of the sofa and stay one step ahead of things like apples while I'm mountaineering. That way I can make sure they stay firmly in their fruit bowl.

Mind you, damsons can be a bit unpredictable as well. I was quietly dozing in one of my boxes listening to them drip through thier muslin cradle over the sink ready to make damson jelly when suddenly they took off, flew through the air and splattered everything. The mush hit the walls, the floor and my boxes. It smothered M who was getting jam jars ready and oozed its way down the sides of the cupboards. It's no good telling humans about the dangers of fruit.

They have to find these things out for themselves.

Chicken Licken knew what he was talking about.

This and That

Phew. What a windy day. I was blown all up the wrong way in the garden so I scooted inside to finish my flower arrangements.

Now, I'm your man but I do like an attractive and tasteful flower arrangement. This one is called Lobster Pot. I change it about every day so it never looks the same. Good isn't it? And the special thing about it, if you look carefully, is, I can do a magic trick with it. I take a long piece of my Alfalfa King in my mouth, nibble away, whisper a couple of Abracadabras and look what comes out the other end! Neat or what? This one is called Carrot Tops in a Pretty Jug.

Not very original but it fits the bill. No tricks with this one just straight forward munching at high speed. The aim is to get it emptied as quickly as possible so it can be filled up again.

It must be sofa-cuddle time about now. I like to get there first so I'm in the middle for our shared dish of fruit. Got to have my five-a-day to keep me fit.

Toenails and Tinsel

I went to my doctor today to have my toe nails trimmed. It didn't hurt but I shivered my back legs a bit just to show them I wasn't a pushover. One of my toes sticks right out at the side but it doesn't matter. I can still design cardboard boxes.

There was a huge rabbit there at the same time as me. Pity I forgot to take my camera. She just fitted in her carrier. Her head touched one end and her scut the other. It was difficult to believe she was all rabbit. Some of her could have been deer. Her family said she lives in the garden mainly and comes to her bed at the same time every night even when she hasn't been called. What a show off.

My doctor said I was very fit and and after squidging my middle put me back in my basket. He said dwarf bunnies can live longer than the larger breeds. So there. He looked a bit tired I thought. He'd had a very busy day operating on cats and rabbits which are his speciality. I'm glad I picked a specialist.

I huffed when I got home but nobody took any notice. Sometimes I wish I could talk properly to let them know I don't like going to the vet. If I get enough practice I might be able to do that so I'm going to start with a bit of stage work, just going backwards and forwards through the curtain, then I'll go on to a bit of Shakespeare.

A busy day

Visitors again today, just when I was busily working on my exhibition. I'd got as far as arranging my two boxes as well as doing some extra frilling around my morning nap bed. Getting the notice fixed to the door was a bit difficult but with help we managed.

While J put the kettle on I took Gillean outside to show her my herb patch. I could tell she was impressed with my scrapes because she chatted to me for ages until J came out with the tea-pot and cups and saucers. Once they were settled I wasn't needed anymore so I hopped it.

Suddenly there was a bit of a commotion outside. J shouted to M that I had vanished and was I with him because nobody could find me in the garden. They all got into a tizzy until J checked the time and asked if I had gone in to watch the news. M came to look and found me. For some reason this made Gillean laugh a lot. What she found funny about me going in to watch the news I can't guess. I do it every day at the same time and was sitting patiently in my usual place waiting for someone to switch on the TV. Nothing funny about that .

Humans are an odd lot.

Rabbits in the garden.

These rabbits are in my friend Celia's garden and she can watch them play through her window. I haven't met them but I would like to. They don't have anybody telling them what not to do all day. Lucky things. I think I've worked out why it's so hard for me to clean myself properly. Just look at the shape of their faces then look at mine. Flat as a pancake! They have such nicely pointed heads so they can reach all the places a rabbit needs to reach to keep clean. Mind you I wouldn't want to stick my face down there so it's ok. I think I am much more adorable the way I am. Yesterday was a bit worrying though. They shut me out of the house by mistake and I was all by myself for hours. I could have starved to death if I hadn't managed to stay alive by eating bean leaves. And parsley and mint and rocket. It was tough but I managed it. I wonder whether I can persuade them to shut me out again today.

It was all of half an hour Harve. Don't exaggerate. We realised as soon as you weren't bobbing up and down in front of the television screen preventing us from watching the 6 o-clock news.

Lisa, Alison and Me

This is my friend,Lisa. I had some new hay from her. You can see some of it stuck in my willow ball. Good stuff to nibble. You can find Lisa on http://www.thehayexperts.co.uk/

I was my naughtiest ever last week. Alison came to stay and slept in my bedroom with me and guess what I did? At five-o-clock in the morning I thumped. Over and over again I thumped. I thumped for an hour but she wouldn't get up. My hay and water bowl were with me so I carried as much hay as I could over to my water bowl and stuffed it in there until it spilled over. Then I pooped outside my litter tray but she still didn't get up.

Now, I love Alison but there are some things I just won't share. One of them is my bedroom.

I've definitely blown it because she was going to give me a PhD for my work on my diary because that's her job but she says I can't have one now. Professional hay Devourer I would have been and I could have put the letters after my name. I'm a bit upset. I wish I hadn't done it now.

Anyway, the good news is my vegetable and herb patch is doing well. I keep a check on it- make the odd scrape to keep the soil in condition and so on. I never nibble stuff unless it is in my bowl though. Well. you have to keep standards up when you are a house rabbit. Except for the business with Alison. Oh, dear!