Toys

I would like to state categorically and especially bun-egorically to rabbit experts of the world, I do not like toys. I see no point in a rope carrot (what a disappointment) a jingle ball, (what is it for) or a cardboard box full of bits for scrabbling in. I mean, why am I scrabbling? To what end? If I want a treat I sit in my basket on my back legs beside the fridge whenever someone opens the door.

A few weeks ago I found a cardboard box with paper, straw etc in the utility room, a place I use for breakfast and for my litter but why would I want to spend time there when I have the rest of the house at my disposal? I did my bit for them, naturally. I looked at it then turned my back, which should have been a big enough hint but they picked me up and put me in it. I sat there, nibbled a bit of paper, put it down then jumped out. Would you give up an Aga, a cosy rug, TV and the possibility of the odd fallen cornflake for a tiled floor and an old cardboard box full of shredded paper? I don't think so. It is not on my list of things I must include in my life. Like the rope carrot.

You might be forgiven for thinking I'm playing if you see me flicking through the pages of a book left on the floor but I am merely checking the plot to make sure it is suitable reading for my primary care giver. A newspaper is ok to sit on for a few minutes while I nibble the edges and I can sniff out a piece of carrot in a cardboard roll in a second. You pick up one end and the carrot roles out the other. Where's the skill in that? A paper towel screwed up can hide a juicy raisin or two but if it has been folded too tightly, well, who cares. Back to the television I say.

The bottom line here is, I do not do floor shows with shop bought items. Now, when we have visitors I am willing to help with entertaining. I scrabble around under the curtain puddle ( my indoor burrow) and stick my head out now and again to surprise them. That goes down well. And I always follow them into the hall when they leave, to help them on their way. These are small things a well mannered house rabbit should know but playing with rope carrots? No thanks, please do not underestimate my intelligence.

Harve thinks he has trained us to give him treats whenever he hurtles into his basket beside the refrigerator. He tries this on if he sees the door open. He doesn't miss a trick. The box full of shredded paper was removed. He eventually pee'd in it. We got the message.

I placed a stool under the window seat for easy access to a look out point. He made use of it straight away, hopped up and down two or three times and that was it. Curiosity satisfied, he hasn't bothered with it again. Been there! Done that! He will invent his own occupational therapy, thank you. They say there is no such thing as a normal child. Replace child with house rabbit and you are getting to know Harve.