There's something going on in my neck of the woods.They have discovered a lump in my groin and you'd think the world was coming to an end.It doesn't bother me in the least. I can run, jump and do all my other things like cleaning myself all over and scrabbling on the sofa but they have gone into a fits of gloom. M thinks it's a hernia, well I am an elderly guy like him but it seems rabbits who have been, you know, snipped and pruned don't get them on the whole. Anyway, he's just a people doctor and doesn't know about rabbits so it means a visit to the vet on Tuesday. We can't go any sooner because Simon, my specialist vet broke his leg skateboarding in Australia over Christmas and isn't working at the moment. I'm going to have words with him about the knack of growing old gracefully when I see him. Honestly. Humans!! Fortunately his wife, Kim will be there so I am going to see her.
The locum is probably a good chap but I will only consult a rabbit specialist and my lot would never ever allow a non rabbit specialist to give me an anaesthetic. What a muddle. I'm not in the least bothered because I know I feel fine.
My friends Spike and Poppy are in trouble. They have learned how to escape from their overnight den and sleep in the living room by the fire. Somebody had chewed through the fireside rug overnight and they got the blame. Nobody can swear they saw them do it but it's easier to blame Spike and Poppy than Edward who only has one tooth.
House rabbits have a lot to put up with as far as chewing goes. I wouldn't say I have been responsible for much damage in my house. I chewed a bit of the wood on the TV cupboard because the doors were closed and it was time for the Simpsons, frilled the edge of the sofa arm cover trying to dig a burrow to hide in just in case I needed an escape route in a hurry and neatened the carpet fringe a smidge but nothing that didn't need doing.
Unlike cats we rabbits have a very important reason for chewing. If we didn't our teeth would grow much too long and we would need to have them filed down. Ugh. Now my pen pal, half-a-tail Mimi has had to call the electrician in Paris on several occasions to repair the table lamps and the computer but I haven't done anything like that. She looks quite innocent but definitely has a strong chewing streak.
And take dogs. Labradors in particular. Chew? If rabbits hadn't invented chewing, Labradors would.Nope, rabbits have chewing rights. If you don't want a few artistic nibbles around the house don't get a house rabbit. Or get one who understands house rules like me.
Time to polish my halo.
We are frantic with worry.
