Gay Paris

They've done it again. They left me on my own. Three days without television. Three days without being able to sneak out the back door and snack on rose petals, bean leaves, parsley and mint. Even worse they went to visit my pen friend Half-a-tail Mimi without my permission. I'd have gone with them if they'd said, I could have sunned myself on Paris Plage or taken a boat trip.

They do a good salad in Paris, Mimi would have eaten the olives for me. I tried to explain to her once about catmint being the thing for cats but between you and me I think she needs to join her local branch of Olives Anonymous. As you know I'm in complete control of temptation apart from dandelion leaves, rocket, valerian and other bits and pieces that might accidentally get in my way at ground level but Mimi climbs on tables to steal olives and leaves them all over the floor so poor Sheila treads on them the next morning. Anyway Mimi let me down pretty badly by cuddling my Primary Care Person. In my book thats a pretty low trick but typically feline. Crafty things, cats. And she's a girl.

So I'm thinking of crossing her off my Christmas card list and sticking to George, William, Smudge and Lennie.

On your own you say, Harve. I heard you did lots of entertaining and even persuaded Pauline- the-Postie to give you banana. Shame on you!

Warning for Lennie

My lot smeared lemon juice on the part of the TV cupboard I liked to nibble. HORRIBLE. Yuk!
Then they gave me a piece of apple tree branch about human finger thickness from the garden to strip whenever I made a move towards the same place. Really good for my teeth. Got them trained very quickly. I don't touch furniture now. No flavour so no point.

Harvey

Now I am seven

I wrecked my basket today and scrabbled up my dozing mats into a messy heap. It felt really good when I'd finished. Sort of satisfying. Usually I don't mind when they go out but when it got round to salad time and nothing came I had a bit of a tantrum. I sat there for ages waiting in my usual place but nobody came. Oh, there was my dried grass which is delicious on the whole but there's a time and place for it and 5 o'clock in the afternoon is not it. That's the slot for juicy green grass and herbs. I like things to be regular.

Well, I'm seven now you know and deserve much more consideration. Although I celebrated my birthday in September last year that was really to mark the day I was chosen from a pet shop so I must have been a few weeks old then. It fits because my pcg has her birthday in August too and we are so much alike. We know what each other is thinking. Apart from an odd slip on her part. A lot of time and effort is saved because of this coincidental fact. I won't tell you how old she is going to be.

I wouldn't say much has changed over the years. I still have a fine head of hair and healthy teeth. I'm not overweight, my running speed is up to scratch, I can come to halt on a sixpence and binkie whenever I feel like it. I might sleep more and I like to take time over my crunchies in the morning but that's all. No, I can't say I feel any older. They would say I nag more often. That's because I do enjoy my carrot and banana and sometimes they get that wrong too. It should be every hour on the hour but they just don't understand. My young pen pal Lennie would support me there. I hope he's keeping his humans up to scratch.

Those pink things by the way, Len, can be trained to pick up any messages you might inadvertently leave behind. Good roughage for them but there is the danger you could be put outside in a hutch if the others notice. That's what happened to a rabbit I know. Beware.

How did he get his rug that far away? At least he left his teddy alone. Usually it's the first thing to take to the air.