Cleaning, walking and digestive biscuits.

When it's wash and brush up time I won't speak to anybody. Even if the Queen came she'd have to wait until I had finished. I might just give way for a bit of banana but it would have to be right under my nose because cleaning and titivating is a very serious and ongoing business.. I love to feel spanking clean and smelling just of rabbit then I like to finish with a long s-t-r-e-t-c-h. On the odd occasion, after my stretch I might walk a few steps or so. Bet you thought I could only hop! The first time my primary care giver saw me she was almost hysterical. "He's walking on all four legs" she squealed. Well. what else would I use for walking. I'll need to be more circumspect another time. I worry when she gets too excited. It's not good for her heart and I need to be cherished for few more years to come. Anyway, you can't get up much speed walking and your bum tends to stick up in the air instead of being neatly tucked up underneath on the floor.

What else has been happening? Oh, yes. Yesterday I found one of the most delicious things in the world. It's called a digestive biscuit. It was casually sitting there on a plate on the coffee table waiting for me so I took it. I could smell it was meant for me, all sugary and cereally and munchy. So why did she get all uptight and chase me? It fell to bits as I ran so I didn't get much more than a quick nibble. Life can be so unfair. Digestive biscuits. Mmmm. Must have a nap near the fire and dream about them.

Shove over, I was here first.

Dear Harvey

Now look here rabbit. Put this in your diary! All this business about dogs being stupid, looking silly and what not is wearing a bit thin. You think you are the only one who has life tagged? Do you think you are the only one who can organise humans to your advantage? Well, think again. We dogs holiday in foreign countries you have never dreamed about. We swim in rivers and in the sea to our hearts' content. We go on fantastic walks, we share a bedroom with our humans and we take the best chairs nearest to a fire. And do you think you are the only species who can binkie? Take a look at this, rabbit.

You say we shouldn't wear coats and shoes. We'll have you know dogs are intrepid explorers. All explorers wear special outfits. Brave fire dogs who investigate burnt out buildings wear shoes and rescue dogs wear protective stuff. We are heroes. We laugh in the face of danger. What do rabbits do? They hide in holes and under tables.

We know how to wrap our humans round our paws just by gazing up at them. You have a lot to learn, rabbit and by the way, who was clever enough to get rid of a pesky bunny who used to take our humans attention away from us? I, Roxy! And who was Miss September on a famous calendar? I, Willow.

Think again, rabbit. Think again.

You can choose your friends but ...

When you are a free range house rabbit mornings tend to be the busiest time. I'm never bored doing the same thing every day. I like my ritual. First I eat my smackeral of carrot, carry out my, er.., ablutions, dash upstairs to muddle my bed in case someone has straightened it, make them open all the doors so I can check downstairs rooms and let them know when it's time for my crunchies. Then I hunt for the warmest spot in the house. It could be a radiator or in front of the log burning stove or the spot under the kitchen table where the pipes run along. I've sorted them all. I was living this reasonable, sensible, intelligent sort of life until I saw these pictures. Oh the shame. Oh the embarrassment to this rabbit, how some animals will allow themselves to be treated.

I told you my dog Willow and Roxy my nemesis had gone skiing. Well, because their feet bleed in deep, sharp snow they now have snow shoes.You will cringe with me when you see this latest H B Rabbit film when they first tried them on.

I'm told they work brilliantly, their paws are fine and they even get excited when they are having shoes put on because they know they will be going outside. Dogs never cease to amaze me. I'm a patient chap but would never allow anything so ridiculous to be done to me.

I've managed to put a couple of comments on your blog, Lennie. Your photographs are splendid. What brilliant photographers your humans are. I know how stressful it is when you are a celebrity. Keep up the mad activities while you are young. Keep them on their toes.