In case all my friends think I have an easy life, that I live like a lord, that I am a spoilt rabbit who doesn't appreciate his luxurious lifestyle, take a look at this.
Do I hear shouts of
unfair to rabbits? Are you crying into your hay? Are you stamping your back foot and tossing your water dish in the air? I hope so.
They call this de-fluffing. I call it criminal.
I have carefully pointed out to them on many occasions that I will not be groomed with a a brush so what do they do? They grab me while I am dozing peacefully, hoist me onto the bench, hold me down in a half nelson with one hand and have the temerity to yank out great clumps of my beautiful, powder-puff fur with the other leaving the most unsightly bald patches near my er, tail.
Even worse, they were taught how to do this by my vet! The man I thought was my friend. The man every rabbit should turn to at least twice a year to maintain his healthy lifestyle. Well, think again friends.
Then sometimes when I look at the photograph my friend Celia Haddon sent of a rabbit in her garden in the snow with his myxi eye and his desperate nibbling of her Eleagnus bush to prevent starvation, I pull my cuddle blanket over my head and count my blessings. Moulting time is nothing in the great scheme of things is it?
There's only one thing a rabbit can do in such circumstances and that is, turn his back. If you don't want to be talked to, turn your back. If they try to blame you for something, turn your back. If you want to object to anything at all, turn your back. It might seem a bit rude at first but it's the only solution if you can't make the sounds a human makes. Back turning is an art because once you have done it you have to stick to your guns. If you give way, if they wave a piece of carrot under your nose and you turn towards it you are lost.
Then there were the grumbles while I was roootling around in my litter tray this morning. Must you make such a racket, Harvey, we're trying to listen to the weather forecast they said. For goodness sake, can't they look out of the window at the weather? Digging a reasonable space in my litter is what I do best and it takes time. Anyway, I like the noise and it keeps me in training for scrape making in the garden and it's the only way to get into exactly the right position every time for...you know what. I need to make sure I hit the right spot . It's my ritual and bunnies need rituals. 
