Jealous?

It's all about ducks here so I'm huffing. It's "Is she off her nest yet?" "Has she come down for food this morning?" "Have the boys come to see her today?" It's ducks, ducks, ducks, nothing but ducks.

I went outside yesterday to check for myself. It's my garden for goodness sake even though I don't bother much with it. You can't cover everything if you're a house rabbit but that doesn't mean I want other folk in there poking their noses into my affairs.

I prepared a few scrapes ready for my carrots, did a good bit of trimming the flat leafed parsley and checked out one or two of the borders but didn't spot or smell her. She must be well hidden. There was nobody in the pond either. I'll be glad when those chicks hatch and we can get back to me being centre stage. Can't be too long now for goodnss sake. She's making a real meal of this giving birth. We rabbits find it so easy.There's never this sort of fuss with does.

Harve is sitting by the back door repelling mallards. He stamps his back foot which has no effect whatsoever on the ducks. They are from the gravel lake down the lane or maybe the nearby river and are familiar with rabbits. They are not fazed. The female has decided this is the place to lay her eggs as she did last year and her two henchman have no say in the matter.Two? One has a limp and is guarding her more with hope than conviction that he is the father. They stick closely together and follow her every move. She seems to have forgotten the cottage garden is walled and although she can fly in, her chicks will not be able to fly out. Maybe she assumes we will open the gate just at the right moment. Whatever her instinct has told her she feels this is a familiar and safe haven.

We feed them once a day with corn and in return she has cleared the duck weed from the pond. The drakes quack as they eat while she sings contentedly on the same note.

Once she has layed her eggs and is sitting on them, her devoted husbands will leave her to it and return to the lake having done their duty by her. Hopefully our daily bonding will help us to assist her return the quarter of a mile down the lane to the lake to take her chance with her babies when the shooting season starts again. We can do no more.

She's been writing in my diary again and missed the bit where I chased the squatters up to the pond! Harve the Hero saves the day! Does that duck really believe she will be able to fit 12 ducklings in there with her?

Sunbeams and Seaside

It's sunbeam time again. I can't think why anyone would want to shiver outside when you can have your own sunbeams in your own kitchen and under your own table-hutch. Mmm it's the best.

They've been away for a few days but I didn't miss them. Had to go to the vet for my usual shave before they went but I didn't mind much. I feel a bit cooler now. I ignored them when they came back, didn't bother to get up because I was much too cosy and tired. After an hour or so I joined them and leapt about and binkied in case they had forgotten who I am.

I've been invited to go with them next time they go to the seaside as long as I don't leave any bits about the hotel. I wouldn't do that in a strange room anyway. I like to keep other peoples' places tidy. The trouble is they allow dogs to stay which wouldn't be any good for me so I won't bother. My best friend Pauline wouldn't want me to go because she loves me and looks forward to keeping me company and sorting my food and other comfort stuff for me. Anyway I get more sleep when I'm on my own and time passes very quickly.

Bobbing for broccoli.

It might be because my lot are growing old or maybe its me but it's getting harder to teach basic essentials. Broccoli for instance. Look at this. Now, I call this a hint. Broccoli in water bowl means I don't want broccoli in my greens dish. If I don't want broccoli in my greens dish I don't want broccoli anywhere. I eat the stuff I like first then what's left I nibble because it's there and I might as well clear the bowl. But not broccoli.

Now, pea tops are good. Along with celery leaves,parsley and carrot tops, they are first on the list to attack .Cabbage, well, yes but it comes at the end of the queue and is eaten when everything else has gone. Spring greens are good if they are springy. I don't like them if they flop about.

I heard them telling someone they have to make soup out of the floppy greens left in the fridge because I don't like them. What's wrong with that? I get first pick, they eat the rest. That's the whole idea isn't it?

My friend Paris- Mimi says George Bush Senior hated broccoli as well. Yea!

Harve eventually bobbed for the broccoli. It disappeared anyway.

The Year of the Rabbit

The Chinese are my sort of people.They dedicate every year to an animal and 2011 is the year of the rabbit. Not that every other year is not dedicated to me. The downside of this seems to be an increase in recipes of you-know-what pie, or so my lot tells me. Some people seem to think it's funny to suggest putting me in a pot. You would not believe the number of times I've overheard that comment from my den under the table. Not only do they think it's funny but they think they are the first one to say it.
I suppose I repeat myself too but that's because I have trained everybody to react to certain instructions and these have to be the same every time otherwise they might not get the message.Sitting on the edge of the kitchen rug means I want a bit of carrot or banana. I do it every morning. Nudging feet under the table means I want a bit of what you're eating please or, stop using the computer because I need a cuddle now. You all know about staring at a door until somebody opens it and growling when I don't want to be picked up and stamping my foot when I enter a room in case they don't spot me on stage.
Maybe this will be the year when everybody in the world will at last understand that we rabbits are intelligent, loving, helpful, companiable animals who must not be imprisoned in a hutch for life. It won't happen of course because the human race is a destroyer of everything good and noble. It can't even make sure rabbits have a hutch at least six feet by two feet by two feet and then a good sized run to play in. Is that so difficult to understand?

A HUTCH IS NOT ENOUGH.

I might write to that lady in a red coat and ask her to hit people with her handbag if they keep rabbits in small hutches.

I'm in a spot of bother I did my Geronimo jump off the sofa and my lump came up again. It doesn't bother me though. It will go down soon.

Mafeking relieved.

This is a special news flash for my diary and all who read it. All is well. Panic over.I tore a muscle and a lump came up. It was only a traumatic hernia after all. I knew I felt ok. I saw both my rabbit specialists, Kim as well as Simon who had come in on his crutches so I had a second opinion at the same time.. They said it would not be advisable to mend it because it would be like trying to stitch tissue paper to butter so I am to take it easy and not do any more Geronimo jumps off the sofa for the time being. Mmm, will I be able to resist?

We companion animals are very sensible about these things on the whole. Fortunately we don't need to go hunting for food so we can rest. I don't binkie much at my age anyway. Binkying is for younger rabbits.

Thank you all for your kind wishes.

The chewing hobby.

There's something going on in my neck of the woods.They have discovered a lump in my groin and you'd think the world was coming to an end.It doesn't bother me in the least. I can run, jump and do all my other things like cleaning myself all over and scrabbling on the sofa but they have gone into a fits of gloom. M thinks it's a hernia, well I am an elderly guy like him but it seems rabbits who have been, you know, snipped and pruned don't get them on the whole. Anyway, he's just a people doctor and doesn't know about rabbits so it means a visit to the vet on Tuesday. We can't go any sooner because Simon, my specialist vet broke his leg skateboarding in Australia over Christmas and isn't working at the moment. I'm going to have words with him about the knack of growing old gracefully when I see him. Honestly. Humans!! Fortunately his wife, Kim will be there so I am going to see her.

The locum is probably a good chap but I will only consult a rabbit specialist and my lot would never ever allow a non rabbit specialist to give me an anaesthetic. What a muddle. I'm not in the least bothered because I know I feel fine.

My friends Spike and Poppy are in trouble. They have learned how to escape from their overnight den and sleep in the living room by the fire. Somebody had chewed through the fireside rug overnight and they got the blame. Nobody can swear they saw them do it but it's easier to blame Spike and Poppy than Edward who only has one tooth.

House rabbits have a lot to put up with as far as chewing goes. I wouldn't say I have been responsible for much damage in my house. I chewed a bit of the wood on the TV cupboard because the doors were closed and it was time for the Simpsons, frilled the edge of the sofa arm cover trying to dig a burrow to hide in just in case I needed an escape route in a hurry and neatened the carpet fringe a smidge but nothing that didn't need doing.

Unlike cats we rabbits have a very important reason for chewing. If we didn't our teeth would grow much too long and we would need to have them filed down. Ugh. Now my pen pal, half-a-tail Mimi has had to call the electrician in Paris on several occasions to repair the table lamps and the computer but I haven't done anything like that. She looks quite innocent but definitely has a strong chewing streak.

And take dogs. Labradors in particular. Chew? If rabbits hadn't invented chewing, Labradors would.

Nope, rabbits have chewing rights. If you don't want a few artistic nibbles around the house don't get a house rabbit. Or get one who understands house rules like me.

Time to polish my halo.
We are frantic with worry.