The chewing hobby.

There's something going on in my neck of the woods.They have discovered a lump in my groin and you'd think the world was coming to an end.It doesn't bother me in the least. I can run, jump and do all my other things like cleaning myself all over and scrabbling on the sofa but they have gone into a fits of gloom. M thinks it's a hernia, well I am an elderly guy like him but it seems rabbits who have been, you know, snipped and pruned don't get them on the whole. Anyway, he's just a people doctor and doesn't know about rabbits so it means a visit to the vet on Tuesday. We can't go any sooner because Simon, my specialist vet broke his leg skateboarding in Australia over Christmas and isn't working at the moment. I'm going to have words with him about the knack of growing old gracefully when I see him. Honestly. Humans!! Fortunately his wife, Kim will be there so I am going to see her.

The locum is probably a good chap but I will only consult a rabbit specialist and my lot would never ever allow a non rabbit specialist to give me an anaesthetic. What a muddle. I'm not in the least bothered because I know I feel fine.

My friends Spike and Poppy are in trouble. They have learned how to escape from their overnight den and sleep in the living room by the fire. Somebody had chewed through the fireside rug overnight and they got the blame. Nobody can swear they saw them do it but it's easier to blame Spike and Poppy than Edward who only has one tooth.

House rabbits have a lot to put up with as far as chewing goes. I wouldn't say I have been responsible for much damage in my house. I chewed a bit of the wood on the TV cupboard because the doors were closed and it was time for the Simpsons, frilled the edge of the sofa arm cover trying to dig a burrow to hide in just in case I needed an escape route in a hurry and neatened the carpet fringe a smidge but nothing that didn't need doing.

Unlike cats we rabbits have a very important reason for chewing. If we didn't our teeth would grow much too long and we would need to have them filed down. Ugh. Now my pen pal, half-a-tail Mimi has had to call the electrician in Paris on several occasions to repair the table lamps and the computer but I haven't done anything like that. She looks quite innocent but definitely has a strong chewing streak.

And take dogs. Labradors in particular. Chew? If rabbits hadn't invented chewing, Labradors would.

Nope, rabbits have chewing rights. If you don't want a few artistic nibbles around the house don't get a house rabbit. Or get one who understands house rules like me.

Time to polish my halo.
We are frantic with worry.

Things I might do this year. Or not.

So far my New Year list of things to do is going to plan and am allowing J to pick me up to cuddle me more often. It's a bit scary when I see her hands coming down but I close my eyes and try hard not to run away. Once I'm up there it's not so bad. We cuddle first thing each morning for quite a long time, in fact I usually drop off to sleep up against her shoulder while I'm being stroked.
I used to hate it and it's taken me 8 and a half years to come to terms with it but there you are. I am a companion animal after all so maybe the time has come to behave like one.

I won't have it any other time of the day though. Absolutely not. The rest of the day is mine and I like to stick to a routine. Routine is the thing a rabbit needs. Fortunately I have an excellent memory and an acute sense of timing and I can tick off my daily list of things to do in perfect order. You will all know what they are by now. First thing eat slice of carrot, cuddle, eat slice of banana, bottom check, eat miserably thin slice of carrot as reward. Poo. Settle down for nap until main breakfast. Line up pellet food and greens and lie between them in case of marauders. Nap. Eat, nap.Eat, eat nap, eat, nap. Nap, eat. Sleep all afternoon. Snore loudly. Finish off any leftovers then into sitting room for TV, hay box, new hay bag and long cuddles on floor.

When I was younger I used to do a lot of hurtling round the house but I will be nine in six months so I'm starting to take it easy.

I might go outside when the weather warms up a bit and depending on Molly, the cat at the bottom of the drive. She has been particularly cheeky lately and has been coming up to eat the bird food. Don't tell me cats are fussy eaters! It all depends on scarcity value if you ask me and being jealous of my feathered friends when they come down to peck. She wouldn't admit it to the humans she lives with of course. She would turn her nose up if they tried to give her dry crusts and bacon rind but put it down for the birds and all of a sudden it's her most favourite thing. I expect she is sick when she goes home but it doesn't put her off.I had to baby sit again today. I'm teaching Edward to throw things around. He's crawling now and came into my very own hutch space under the table. I'm not sure I was all that pleased but if it's the only way I can give him lessons then I am willing to share. He threw my dozing mats around reasonably well and I tossed his toys in the air with my usual expertese. Then we went into the sitting room and played with my hay bag. I was the first to give in and hopped back for a doze. I am much older though.
I made a new friend recently. Her name is Jessica and you can see her photograph if you click onto her message at the bottom of my last diary entry. She has a very smart coat in my opinion.

Time for a nap.

Another one over.

Well, Christmas is over and I haven't put on a gram in weight so why is the family huffing and puffing around the place? All of a sudden my vegetables have become very popular and they are eating my salady stuff as well .My herbs and celery sticks are on their plates as well as their own food. The only thing I ever beg from them is the odd crunchy nut cornflake. Oh and a cream cracker. Oh and maybe a smidgeon of rich tea biscuit. Oh and definitely Banana. Well, it's good to share.
I tried the snow! Fantastic stuff. If you try to eat it, it disappears as you go along. I was like a little black snow plough but they were too busy giving my special sultanas to the birds who gobble them up with one swallow instead of nibbling and savouring the way I do. Guess what I got from Santa? A big bag of my favourite mixed cereal.It's in the sitting room so I can duck my head inside and nibble while I pop out again to watch TV.

I wish all the rabbits in the world could have had a Christmas like mine.

Vertically challenged?

How could they get it so wrong? Call themselves experienced rabbit owners? Pooh! They now tell me I'm not what I thought I was. I'm not a dwarf lop after all. I'm a mini lop. Is that bigger or smaller?

Oh dear I feel so insecure.

It's all to do with my weight. Dwarf lops are heavier than mini lops. I'm only 1.5 kilos and that is mini weight. On top of this news, my vet thinks my face should be a bit more pointed as a mini lop and my beautiful visage is as flat as a pancake! What terrible mix up. Am I just a mongrel?Oh, dear, I'm so confused. I don't know what to do. Should I get a second opinion do you think? Maybe Harley Street? Can I afford it with Christmas just round the corner? Oh, well. Who cares. It's banana time. They love me after all! They don't mind if I never win a beauty contest. They still think I'm the most precious thing in their lives! And I am!!Life is so.o.o.o good so I'm off to deck the halls.

Roger Rabbit

Vets again today. Every six months I go to the vet for my Myxie jab and every time I grumble about the same thing. The dreaded scope. I hate the thing in my mouth. Vaccination fine, bottom shave fine, weigh in fine, tummy squidge fine but the teeth. NO.But I'm never going to grumble again because today I met Roger. Roger is deaf and he has had a stroke. Now he has a sore eye where they think some hay dust or maybe a piece of sharp hay has scratched it.
Yet Roger is a lucky bun because his human mum loves him very, very much. He loves to be nursed and cuddled as often as possible. He lies blissfully on his mum's knee and will probably be able to feel her heart beating and the vibrations of her voice when she talks to him. He has his own duvet next to a heater so is always warm and cosy in this weather.
I thank the Great White Rabbit in the sky for my health and happiness.

Tittle Tattle

I have a new bed. It's for cats really and it's made of special stuff so they can't scratch it to pieces. Works for me too. I can scrabble all day and try to pull it with my teeth but it stays the same. Word was that I wouldn't go near it for weeks until I got used to it but I fooled them all by diving straight for it and settling in. Mmmm, it's perfect for winter snoozes. So snuggly. Someone keeps trying to cover it with one of my cuddle towels to keep it clean but I soon toss that out of the way. Well, black on white looks so classy don't you think? These two buns here belong to my friend Edward. Their names are Spike and Poppy and I hear they quite like to look after Ed. When he learns to crawl they won't be so happy you mark my words. Once he can reach them and pull their fur they'll hop it pretty smartish. They were there first so I know they are the bosses. They have a fantastic hutch to run to for peace and quiet if they choose.
The hay in my play bag is going down and I have to put my head all the way in to get to the best bits. What's so funny about my splendid bottom sticking out while I scrabble? Oh, well, if it gives them some pleasure to laugh at me let them get on with it.

Harve, we are waiting for a new huge bag to arrive. Be patient.

Another good idea.

One thing this old bun has learned is that if you want to train your humans you have to change your mind set. Forget about being a lagamorph. For a house rabbit like me, stamping is no longer a sign for danger as with my cousins in the wild. No, foot stamping is for getting immediate attention. It now means Pronto, Subito, Imediatement and other foreign words of that ilk.

Last night, when I had nothing better to do, I decided it was bedtime for the old folk so I shot upstairs into their bedroom. Usually I potter along to mine for a bit of peace but this time I had something on my mind. I gave a couple of heavy stamps on the floor above them as only a rabbit can and waited. As sure as eggs are eggs up came my human mum. Right on cue. I stared very hard at her until she got the message and lay down on the bed. Good girl! Then I ran over and flopped out by her side for the night. Done!That was the successful part. Suddenly, not at all according to my plan and just as I had closed my eyes, she got up grabbed me and carried me downstairs. Not so good but an achievement in part for rabbit kind. I wonder where I went wrong.

I'm running out of training ideas. Any new ones will be gratefully received. Something to encourage a constant supply of juicy raisins would be good.

Harve's complete faith and conviction that I will understand his wishes is quite astounding. Staring at closed doors, sitting with his front paws in his empty food bowl, waiting patiently at the foot of the stairs until the rug he uses for take off is put in place, pushing his face into my hand so I will cuddle his head and stamping for immediate attention whether it be for banana, which he can smell at a hundred paces or his running entrance into a room to tell us he has arrived. Why do I still find it so strange after eight years?

A family friend refers to him as The Cog. A combination of a cat and a dog. He encompasses the habits of both of these with a little more intelligence.

People still keep these wonderful companions in hutches.