Another one over.

Well, Christmas is over and I haven't put on a gram in weight so why is the family huffing and puffing around the place? All of a sudden my vegetables have become very popular and they are eating my salady stuff as well .My herbs and celery sticks are on their plates as well as their own food. The only thing I ever beg from them is the odd crunchy nut cornflake. Oh and a cream cracker. Oh and maybe a smidgeon of rich tea biscuit. Oh and definitely Banana. Well, it's good to share.
I tried the snow! Fantastic stuff. If you try to eat it, it disappears as you go along. I was like a little black snow plough but they were too busy giving my special sultanas to the birds who gobble them up with one swallow instead of nibbling and savouring the way I do. Guess what I got from Santa? A big bag of my favourite mixed cereal.It's in the sitting room so I can duck my head inside and nibble while I pop out again to watch TV.

I wish all the rabbits in the world could have had a Christmas like mine.

Vertically challenged?

How could they get it so wrong? Call themselves experienced rabbit owners? Pooh! They now tell me I'm not what I thought I was. I'm not a dwarf lop after all. I'm a mini lop. Is that bigger or smaller?

Oh dear I feel so insecure.

It's all to do with my weight. Dwarf lops are heavier than mini lops. I'm only 1.5 kilos and that is mini weight. On top of this news, my vet thinks my face should be a bit more pointed as a mini lop and my beautiful visage is as flat as a pancake! What terrible mix up. Am I just a mongrel?Oh, dear, I'm so confused. I don't know what to do. Should I get a second opinion do you think? Maybe Harley Street? Can I afford it with Christmas just round the corner? Oh, well. Who cares. It's banana time. They love me after all! They don't mind if I never win a beauty contest. They still think I'm the most precious thing in their lives! And I am!!Life is so.o.o.o good so I'm off to deck the halls.

Roger Rabbit

Vets again today. Every six months I go to the vet for my Myxie jab and every time I grumble about the same thing. The dreaded scope. I hate the thing in my mouth. Vaccination fine, bottom shave fine, weigh in fine, tummy squidge fine but the teeth. NO.But I'm never going to grumble again because today I met Roger. Roger is deaf and he has had a stroke. Now he has a sore eye where they think some hay dust or maybe a piece of sharp hay has scratched it.
Yet Roger is a lucky bun because his human mum loves him very, very much. He loves to be nursed and cuddled as often as possible. He lies blissfully on his mum's knee and will probably be able to feel her heart beating and the vibrations of her voice when she talks to him. He has his own duvet next to a heater so is always warm and cosy in this weather.
I thank the Great White Rabbit in the sky for my health and happiness.

Tittle Tattle

I have a new bed. It's for cats really and it's made of special stuff so they can't scratch it to pieces. Works for me too. I can scrabble all day and try to pull it with my teeth but it stays the same. Word was that I wouldn't go near it for weeks until I got used to it but I fooled them all by diving straight for it and settling in. Mmmm, it's perfect for winter snoozes. So snuggly. Someone keeps trying to cover it with one of my cuddle towels to keep it clean but I soon toss that out of the way. Well, black on white looks so classy don't you think? These two buns here belong to my friend Edward. Their names are Spike and Poppy and I hear they quite like to look after Ed. When he learns to crawl they won't be so happy you mark my words. Once he can reach them and pull their fur they'll hop it pretty smartish. They were there first so I know they are the bosses. They have a fantastic hutch to run to for peace and quiet if they choose.
The hay in my play bag is going down and I have to put my head all the way in to get to the best bits. What's so funny about my splendid bottom sticking out while I scrabble? Oh, well, if it gives them some pleasure to laugh at me let them get on with it.

Harve, we are waiting for a new huge bag to arrive. Be patient.

Another good idea.

One thing this old bun has learned is that if you want to train your humans you have to change your mind set. Forget about being a lagamorph. For a house rabbit like me, stamping is no longer a sign for danger as with my cousins in the wild. No, foot stamping is for getting immediate attention. It now means Pronto, Subito, Imediatement and other foreign words of that ilk.

Last night, when I had nothing better to do, I decided it was bedtime for the old folk so I shot upstairs into their bedroom. Usually I potter along to mine for a bit of peace but this time I had something on my mind. I gave a couple of heavy stamps on the floor above them as only a rabbit can and waited. As sure as eggs are eggs up came my human mum. Right on cue. I stared very hard at her until she got the message and lay down on the bed. Good girl! Then I ran over and flopped out by her side for the night. Done!That was the successful part. Suddenly, not at all according to my plan and just as I had closed my eyes, she got up grabbed me and carried me downstairs. Not so good but an achievement in part for rabbit kind. I wonder where I went wrong.

I'm running out of training ideas. Any new ones will be gratefully received. Something to encourage a constant supply of juicy raisins would be good.

Harve's complete faith and conviction that I will understand his wishes is quite astounding. Staring at closed doors, sitting with his front paws in his empty food bowl, waiting patiently at the foot of the stairs until the rug he uses for take off is put in place, pushing his face into my hand so I will cuddle his head and stamping for immediate attention whether it be for banana, which he can smell at a hundred paces or his running entrance into a room to tell us he has arrived. Why do I still find it so strange after eight years?

A family friend refers to him as The Cog. A combination of a cat and a dog. He encompasses the habits of both of these with a little more intelligence.

People still keep these wonderful companions in hutches.

Superbun.

I'm going to enter the fire tong throwing section of the Olympic Games. Nobody will believe a small ball of powderpuff, black fluff like me can toss heavy, sooty, fire tongs. It's best to do it across the cream carpet so they can easily check the distance because there's a black mark where they land. I bet I win the feather weight class.
My carpet fringe has disappeared. It's been tucked under so I can't tug and chew it so I have to do something. Tong throwing seems a good way to strengthen my neck muscles. Nobody here seemed very impressed but they didn't take the tongs away until my second throw. I don't think they believed it the first time.

This is Edward. He came especially to see me today but I kept my distance. He kept waving his arms about because he is only five months old. I wasn't quite sure whether he could reach me or not so I kept the chair between us although I did go over to sniff him once. He was quite nice for a human kitten but he couldn't binkie. I could at that age.

Campaigning Day.

I had to look after things at home again today while the other two helped out at The Rabbit Welfare Association stand at the Veterinary Nurses Conference.

We are desperately trying to get people to join so they can spread the word about so many important things people should know about rabbits. If you join you get four fabulous magazines a year and all the information you need to know about bunnies in the house and in the garden. The main problem is the size of hutches. People put their rabbits in hutches that are far too small for us. We need a house which is at least 6 feet by 2 feet by two feet. Then of course we like a run so we can binkie and improve on our running speed. I'm the best speed runner in the world but I get plenty of practise in this house. Well, I could miss something exciting if I were too slow.

I heard that in Germany there is already a law to make sure hutches are big enough. Maybe in Holland too but I am waiting to find out about that from a Dutch friend.

If you join the Rabbit Welfare Association there is a helpline in case you want to ask questions.

Anne Mitchell came home to see me afterwards. That's Anne in the middle of the picture. Now, Anne thinks all bunnies should live in pairs but my brother didn't like me very much so we had to be separated. I did my bit to charm her, jumped up beside her on the sofa, chewed at the carpet fringe while J tried to stop me while I ducked and dived, dashed about to show how fit I am and so on. I was so proud when she said what a wonderful life I have. Well, I sorted that out myself with my training sessions for people. Quite easy if you persevere. None of those hutches for me thank you. Not of any size or shape.

Killer rabbits.

I was listening under the table when the man came to get my Aga ready for chilly days. I always like to listen in when somebody comes. He said he had heard on the TV programme called QI that trappers in very cold countries who tried to get through the winter by living on rabbit meat alone died of malnutrition. Sounds good to me but I wonder where Mr. Fry heard that? Has anyone else heard it

Mind you, I don't think I could live on just grass. One food only wouldn't be very interesting. Even my cousins in the wild manage to find a bit of variety.

I have a small worry at the moment because my favourite things are apple leaves and they are beginning to fall in my garden. Along with my baby greens, sweetheart cabage and, yes Lennie, yummy peaches, I have a wide assortment of stuff to munch. It changes every day so I always look forward to my meals. I hope I don't lose all my apple leaves.

I'm still snoozing quite a lot. Most of the time in fact. My second in command is the same. We are very happy hanging out together.
Got it!!!

The only solution is to pee.

The signs are there. Travel basket with a fresh cuddle blanket inside and my facecloth with a blue bunny on it which smells of me. You can bet your bobtail it's ...............

VETS!

Weigh in, then bottom shave which = being left to look after the house while they go away which = Pauline and Bev which = more treats which = more time to doze during the day instead of that continuous chatter and kisses. Not bad at all.

It's just getting through the scary vet visit and makeover that's the worst and the feeling of complete helplessness when the 'scope is forced into my mouth for a teeth check. The scales are slippy so I can't get a grip for an escape leap. Awful. I'm used to being upside down for a bit while my rear end is dealt with every day so the shave is tolerable.

I was so scared in the waiting room that I peed on my fresh bed and was shaking. J picked me out and cuddled me and whispered in my ears which made things a bit better. Normally I don't like sitting on her lap but at times like this I love it because I know she understands and it makes me feel safe.

To crown it all, I was referred to, yet again, as a geriatric rabbit.

All done, anyway. Best to forget about it and drop a few hints about getting my dish filled up. Hello? Anybody there?

Carrot-free zone.

I've gone off carrots! It's official. Maybe not for ever but I'm putting it in my diary so I will remember. I thought I might write to the papers. " Rabbit refuses to eat carrot." More interesting than the stuff they publish most days. I rip them up if I find newspapers on the floor.

Carrots go with rabbits. Always. So, what's left for me? Well. there's.....

......homegrownbeanleavespeatopscarrottopsfreshgreenssweetheartcabbageflatleafparsarsleymintappleleavesbananasandsoon. When the dish is empty, I sit in it. I can get most of me in there and when they spot me, they fill it up again. Nothing to it.

They are talking about it here of course. Is it his teeth do you think? Open his mouth and have a look. No, you open his mouth. He doesn't like it. Should we take him to the vet? No, if it were his teeth he wouldn't be able to eat his crunchies and he is eating his hay which he wouldn't do if his grinding teeth at the back were troubling him. We'll wait and see then.

Phew, no vets. I hadn't thought of that.

My bedtime carrot is still left beside my dish when they put the lights out but somebody gets rid of it during the night. Hmmm.

Heard from my friend Lisa, yesterday. She has a lionhead bun to keep her house in order and help her run her Hay Experts business. She was very worried the other day because she couldn't find her. Eventually, she looked behind the sofa and Noonie had chewed her way into the back and was fast asleep inside. I think that beats my frilled arm cover. I'm so jealous. What a bun!!

As far as the carrot thing goes, why shoudn't I go off things? People do and after all, I am just a furry person after all.
What's this? Diving board? Chewy mat?

Can rabbits count?

Anne Mitchell, who is the most important person in the world because she runs the Rabbit Welfare Association, says rabbits can't count. Is she right? Does a doe bun know how many kits she has? Would she go looking if she found she was one short? Would she really know if one were missing?
Birds know. They spend hours in my garden searching for babies once they have left the nest.

Our old labrador could count but only up to three because she was the fourth member of the family and she could only see three others. If J gave her 4 little biscuits she used to take three of them away under the stairs then only come back to look for more when she had eaten them. If she was given three, she didn't bother looking for more.I've been given a pot of green buttons from Waitrose to count but I just knock it over when it's put in front of me. We are saving them for a rabbit charity although the collecting box is a long time coming. We have given Waitrose lots of information about the Rabbit Welfare fund and how badly rabbits are treated and how people like Ingrid Tarrant are great supporters of buns so we are hoping for something. If you have a Waitrose nearby you could ask them to include rabbits in their list. Dogs and cats seem to do very well with collections but rabbits seem to have been ignored. Shame on you, Waitrose.

One, two, seven, twelve, nine..............zzzzzzzzz

Rabbit Welfare Association and Fund
PO Box 603
Horsham
West Sussex
RH13 5WL

Birthday portrait.

I am eight and this is my one hundredth entry in my diary so it's a very special day. As nobody knew my exact date of birth I celebrate for the whole of July. Well, I try to.

Now, do I times by ten or by seven? If it's ten then I am eighty but if it's seven then I'm only ummmm, would it be sixty four? No. That sounds like a song.

Anyway, I'm still as fit as a fiddle and can still jump as high as a kite and can run as fast as a ....rabbit. I get plenty of practice in this house.

I was to have a birthday portrait done but only on condition I would allow J to groom me before hand. Nope. Not for a hundred birthday portraits. I don't mind my head and ears brushed gently but no further down my back thank you very much. We buck rabbits have our pride. Doe buns might like to be titivated so they can attract good looking chaps like me but not yours truely. If I can't get to some bits to straighten then they have to stay fluffy. Rabbits don't get fur balls like cats, thank goodness. Well, rarely.

Eight is a good age for a rabbit. My cousins in the wild rarely live longer than eighteen months,or so I read in a book. This is my pensive look by the way.
I might take a short nap now. Napping is one thing you are allowed to do when you are as old as I am.
Before I go, I thought you might like to see my latest artistic creation. I did it all by myself on the best sofa. I know George will like it. He loves frills.

Happy birthday to me.

Parisian chats.

They've been away again which pleased me no end because they arranged for a friend to come and watch TV with me in the evening. I still had my usual maid, Pauline, who deals with things in the morning. The best bit was, Bev didn't know how much carrot I am allowed so I OD'd on it and put on a few grams .

All in all, they were delighted because I had been losing a smidgeon in this hot weather. Bev said, "He likes to be hand fed doesn't he?" You betcha!
Mind you, she sent a text message to my lot in Paris complaining about how loudly I snore. Did she have to mention it?

Talking about putting on weight, what do you think of Mimi's friend, Tom Tom?

It must be difficult to get enough exercise being an indoor, apartment-living cat but he can still jump up onto kitchen benches.

Mimi keeps telling TT he should not be trying to steal croquettes from her tin because he's too fat but the problem is, Mimi is bi-lingual and is speaking English while TT just speaks French. I think Dani, his mum, should teach him a few phrases before she takes him to Mimi for his holidays or maybe Chachat who lives in Edinburgh could give him a few words of advice. I think she speaks French. Now, yours truly can fly through the air like a puff of wind. I can't imagine TT will ever be able to do that.

Midsummer.

We had rain on Midsummer day and it was a bit blustery so I stayed home to look after things while the other two went off to visit Twigs' family of eighteen rabbits, some hens and a couple of tortoises and to nibble on the carrot cake in the garden.Parsley is a very sensible chap and when the rain hurtled down he took to his shelter and watched things from the comfort of his garden house. Wet paws and fur are something I hate too.

I had news about them all. Damson is recovering nicely after his operation to remove a kidney stone but was resting in the nursery sick bay today to make sure he didn't get underfoot.













Viola Rose is looking very beautiful again now she has completely recovered from her myxie attack. It was an uphill struggle even though she had her jabs. Twigs and Steve had planned to go on holiday but the morning they were due to leave Viola Rose went to them and showed them her streaming eyes and nose.















so they unpacked their cases and stayed with her.

Her great love is Mistletoe Snowgoose. You can see him here with Viola Rose. He was bought from a pet shop when he was small. The pet shop owner said he would love to live alone in a hutch on a balcony. Well! How ignorant is that? Six months later he turned into a large, powerful, hormonal fury. Not the pet shop owner, Mistletoe Snowgoose. Anyway after one or two problems someone told Twigs about him because Twigs knows how rabbits should be kept.
One thing is a bit of a worry though. Steve sent me a message to say bought packets of curly kale might not be good for me because of the stuff they blow into the bags to keep it fresh. I'm eating my own from the garden at the moment but I will make sure anything else from a shop is washed thoroughly before going into my bowl even when it says washed and ready for use.
We are all such lucky rabbits to have such lovely, loving homes.
In the meantime I have been digging in the corner of the sofa. First of all you have to toss the cushions out of the way, then pull and tug at the arm covers ( this takes a very long time. I've been at it for three days so far) and then the scrabbling can start in earnest. I have other things to play with but I prefer to make up my own games. I'm quite excited. I wonder what I will find when I get to the other side? There is a nice frilly bit at the edge of the cover now. I don't know who could have done it because I've been there most of the time and I didn't see anyone.


Money raised at the open day is for the RSPCA programme for rabbit neutering.

The Living is Easy.

I have found outside again! Great space and so much to sort. I did a really good job of clearing up this morning. Nibbled on some fallen Ena Harkness rose petals.

and found my parsley patch, so trimmed that up too then I hopped up top to loosen the soil around my beans.

Some mallards had moved in so I did a couple of very high binkies close by and they left in a hurry. That showed them! I wrote a little poem about them.There are ducks in my garden today,
They come in each morning to play
I don't like them much
They should be in a hutch
So I'l binkie and chase them away.

There was a bit of a commotion when I discovered the sprouting carrot seeds. Just tiny little fronds ready for me to munch. So delectable but seemingly a no-no. Why sow carrot seeds if not to munch as soon as they start to sprout? That word/sound NO is not nice. When I hear it I run for home. No point in arguing. Might be picked up and thrown over her shoulder like a sack of sprouts. I hate sprouts.

Still in a tidying and trimming mood I started on the carpet fringe. My usual stretch had disappeared. I didn't eat it. I could never munch through that much. I think it might have been tucked under for some reason. Spoil sports abound in this house.
It was a full morning, so the afternoon was spent napping. Got to keep up my strength for tomorow. Who knows what is in store. Bring me that horizon! I think my favourite pirate, Johnnie Depp said that first but he won't mind sharing.
This is such a great poster for Twigs' money raising day this month. I think there will be carrot cake for tea. Yummmmmmmmm. Please come.

A pet of my own.

I feel so much better on my new food regime so I've been thinking of going outside for a look around. Just thinking about it mind you. I'm not sure what I used to do out here last year. There was my herb garden and lots of chairs to sit under but I can't see them there now. Nope, I've forgotten. It all looks too big so I won't bother. Although I think that's my dandelion.I was a bit worried about the reduction in my bought, pellet food. I only have 12 grams a day now. All the vitamins and minerals I need are there and I have a huge pile of greens to start the day to get my digestive system going in the right direction. Then it's hay, a few herbs mixed in with fresh grass for tea and finally my evening carrot with a taste of apple or pear. Not a bad day's supply all in all and I have put on a couple of grams in weight too. Just in case they forget the pellets I always give a few good tugs at M's trousers while he is having his breakfast until he gets the message. He's quite bright really. In fact they both understand my contact language pretty well -for people.
It didn't take nearly as long to train my dog, Willow when I lived with Joanne. A couple of bites on her nose did the trick and my control was in the bag. You can see her ear is raised so she doesn't miss a word I say. Good dog! My rabbit friends who live with Twigs have their own tortoise. A tortoise can be very useful for finding dandelions then all you have to do is grab the flower out of its mouth. It's quite easy because tortoises eat slowly. I might ask for a tortoise for my birthday in July.

Sad Goodbyes.

From Teasal for Twigs and Steve.

"And when I fall before his reaping
And when my stuttering speech is dumb
Think not my love is dead or sleeping
But that it waits for you to come."
Eugene Field

From Twigs in memory of Teasal

"Teasal was the most stunningly intelligent, gentle, handsome and mischievous house rabbit - my own favourite, who lived with us for over eight years after coming from Wood Green Animal Sanctuary. He had three girlfriends, Florence, Sage and Robinia each of whom fell in love with him at first sight. He is survived by Robinia."

We are devastated.

From Harvey

I know you will worry about your family Teasal. They will find it hard to manage without you.

Inwardly digest.

I'm going to have to change my eating habits. I had a long chat wiuth my vet about my sticky caecotroph problem. When we bunnies get older our gut can have difficulties dealing with bought pellets and that is what is happening to me now I am almost 8 years old. When I came to live with the older members of my family we reduced my pellet food very slowly from 45g to 22g but now it's time to go a bit further.

I love my pellet breakfast and get so excited and sing and dash about when I hear them getting my dish ready so I am a bit doubtful about the idea. I'm to have my vegetables first instead of later in the day and every day I will be given a gram less of pellets until things are just right. My dried grass and hay and my teatime will stay the same so that is something. I will also have some pro-biotics added to my drinking water and will need to be weighed regularly.

I've only been doing it for three days but so far so good. My family keep saying things like "Oh, joy!" and "It seems to be working." My vet says there is far too much promotion of artificial food for animals. All to do with making money I suppose and humans are so easily persuaded to spend. They think they are pleasing us but most of the time they are just pleasing themselves.

I feel so much more comfortable now I am a sweet smelling house bun. I wonder if this is one of the reasons why a lot of rabbits are just left in hutches, because humans don't bother to identify our problems. We are very complicated, special creatures.

The downside for me is having to be weighed every few days in this microwave tub! Do I look too silly?

Geriatric? Moi?

Just got back from the vet's. Quite a pleasant ride and plenty to watch in the waiting room. Weigh in, one and a half kilos, tummy squidge, toenail trim, bottom shave and then the dreaded tooth check. To add insult to injury, my vet, who has always been my hero until now said, "Very good for a geriatric rabbit. You will miss him when he has gone."

Gone? Where am I going? I'm not going anywhere. Huh, doctors. It's bad enough living with a pedantic, people doctor but I didn't expect any comments like this from a real one. Oh well, time for TV.

Just look at this. I had a bottle like that when I was a kitten but I've had my own bowl for years now. Don't human males ever grow up? Must check with George.

EASTER

Square eggs?

Well, I think I've heard everything now! There I was keeping a close watch on my space to make sure everything was put back in exactly the right spot on my mat as I do every morning while my second in command was doing a bit of a clean up when he suddenly said Why can't this rabbit make square droppings so they wouldn't roll around all over the place.
Well, to start with, the droppings as he calls them are not done on purpose. They seem to spill a bit when I jump out of my litter tray that's all and secondly this rabbit has a name! Anyway, I make them this way because it is more comfortable for me. Does he ask hens to lay square eggs?Of course he doesn't. How would he get his egg spoon into the corners if eggs were square?
In my opinion it's time my base station was put back in the utility room so I won't get so many complaints. This means the kitchen door would need to be left open for my freedom during the night and it's still a bit chilly in the back porch which they like to shut off in cold weather.
If I complain too much they might decide to get a sleeping cage for me and I wouldn't like that so it's best to suffer all the slings and arrows and pretend I don't understand what they say. I love sleeping under my kitchen table anyway. It's my eventing arena as well as my safe place.

This is my safety zone where I sleep, perfect my jumping skills and keep watch over everything in the kitchen. I'm ashamed of the dust on my table and chair legs but I can't reach very high.

A hutch is not enough.

I've been thinking a lot about other rabbits this winter while I snooze beside the fire. I wish they could all live like me or have comfortable garden homes like my friend Viola Rose. This is Viola Rose. She lives with her large family and every summer their lovely garden is open to raise money for less happy buns.

They each have a luxury pad and their own bonded partner for company as well as the garden to play in. This is how we bunnies should live. We need to be able to hop and run and binkie whenever we feel like it. We need company and someone to cuddle up to. We need everything other companion animals have. We need a life with someone to love us and care for us just like everyone else.The bedroom in this picture is for two Netherland dwarf buns. The bigger members of the family have bigger master bedroom suites but they all have their very own playground just like this one.
Parsley is another member of Viola Rose's family. He is a house rabbit and sits on a chair beside Twigs while she writes her books. When the garden is open he and his partner have a play pen so they can share in the fun.

If you read this page in my diary please tell as many people as you can that a hutch is not enough and please, please ask people to buy their human children a chocolate bunny this Easter instead of a real one. Unless you are sure they can live a life like Viola Rose.

Keep an eye on Dr. Twigs Way's website for open days if you would like to meet Viola Rose and her family. You can sit in their lovely garden and smell the roses. http://www.twigsway.com/

Brrrrrr it's still cold

Had a peep outside today but its too cold for me in the garden.

They say it's the damp and draughts rabbits don't like not the cold but to be on the safeside I stay away from them all. Well these experts are always doing research to prove something or other then somebody else pops up and proves the opposite. It's better to stick to my own rules I say. After a bit of firm persuasion my lot soon catch on. They know on chilly evenings I like the fire to myself. If I really stretch out I can keep them away from my warm spot and if J gets in my way I squiggle my way in between her and the fire. To get rid of her completely I just have to find a bit of her and keep licking until it drives her mad and she moves away.

Life with humans is a doddle really if you chose the right kind. That's the hard bit, chosing the right kind. I try not to think about some bunnies freezing to death in their hutches. People should have to pass exams before they are allowed to keep rabbits.

Fame on a cushion

It has arrived at last. MY cushion. The one I modelled for. It's soft and velvety and smells new and I love it. This is going to be my special seat now. I can even watch TV from this spot.My friend Anna is one of the best textile artists there is. I think she must love me very much. You could find her at www.annasteiner.com

The art of back turning.

I did not do it! It wasn't me and if it was I wasn't there. Somebody spilled my alfalfa all over the carpet and I got the blame as usual.There's only one thing a rabbit can do in such circumstances and that is, turn his back. If you don't want to be talked to, turn your back. If they try to blame you for something, turn your back. If you want to object to anything at all, turn your back. It might seem a bit rude at first but it's the only solution if you can't make the sounds a human makes. Back turning is an art because once you have done it you have to stick to your guns. If you give way, if they wave a piece of carrot under your nose and you turn towards it you are lost.
Then there were the grumbles while I was roootling around in my litter tray this morning. Must you make such a racket, Harvey, we're trying to listen to the weather forecast they said. For goodness sake, can't they look out of the window at the weather? Digging a reasonable space in my litter is what I do best and it takes time. Anyway, I like the noise and it keeps me in training for scrape making in the garden and it's the only way to get into exactly the right position every time for...you know what. I need to make sure I hit the right spot . It's my ritual and bunnies need rituals.

Huh! Whose house is this anyway!

Not Again please!

In case all my friends think I have an easy life, that I live like a lord, that I am a spoilt rabbit who doesn't appreciate his luxurious lifestyle, take a look at this.Do I hear shouts of unfair to rabbits? Are you crying into your hay? Are you stamping your back foot and tossing your water dish in the air? I hope so.

They call this de-fluffing. I call it criminal.

I have carefully pointed out to them on many occasions that I will not be groomed with a a brush so what do they do? They grab me while I am dozing peacefully, hoist me onto the bench, hold me down in a half nelson with one hand and have the temerity to yank out great clumps of my beautiful, powder-puff fur with the other leaving the most unsightly bald patches near my er, tail.

Even worse, they were taught how to do this by my vet! The man I thought was my friend. The man every rabbit should turn to at least twice a year to maintain his healthy lifestyle. Well, think again friends.

Then sometimes when I look at the photograph my friend Celia Haddon sent of a rabbit in her garden in the snow with his myxi eye and his desperate nibbling of her Eleagnus bush to prevent starvation, I pull my cuddle blanket over my head and count my blessings. Moulting time is nothing in the great scheme of things is it?